So what are we waiting for?
Jesper Lohse, head of the Fathers' Association, Denmark
Joint parenting and positive father involvement create more love, care, and security for children with more quality time, more experiences, a better identity, and more social and economic resources. It is best for the children as it is for the whole in society. Joint parenting is more common today than ever. More fathers are taking leave and more fathers are equal in family life and have been for a long time. The equal access arrangements are the most widespread and fastest growing in Denmark.
So what are we waiting for... In 2007, when joint custody became the norm in the Parental Responsibility Act, the expectation and message was that fathers would be equal. What the politicians and ministries did not state was that residence and the concept of visitation were introduced at the same time, which in practice put joint custody out of force. In 2012, it was again emphasized by joint custody and the child's right to both parents was the starting point of the law and for the applicable human rights.
In 2015, the harassment package was introduced with automatic compensation visitation, holidays and meeting obligations. In 2019, a new family law system was introduced with green, yellow, and red visitation on the recommendation of the Father Association. Shared residence was made possible by agreement and family mediation, a children's unit, and new legislation on psychological violence, including parental alienation, were introduced.
What the politicians and ministries did not do was to listen to the Father Association all the way, as we clearly announced right up until the day of the Folketing's decision that the changes to the law were positive, but would not work if the starting point continued to be discrimination between custodial and non-custodial parents. In addition, welfare benefits based on residential parents and when shared residence and equal time were not the starting point or could not be decided by a court preventively.
So what are we waiting for... Introduce equality as in other parts of our society with shared residence and equal time as a starting point for children who do not live with both parents and who experience both parents on leave. Give parents the opportunity to use their free choice to make other agreements if desired. At the same time, based on documentation and factual concerns, instead of loose and tactical claims, children's cases must of course be processed in the family law system.
A case processing that must be based on equal and objective treatment of both parents. We still need to see this happen to date in the family law system for the children. In 2022, it was decided that digital mail from the public sector should be sent to both parents, In 2023, parental leave was distributed equally with approx. 3 months earmarked leave for each parent, which is a big progress. At least for the nuclear families, because you are without rights if the mother does not want it for the leave you and your employer think you have.
Most recently, domestic violence and crisis centres have been made gender-neutral by law, but psychological violence legislation is significantly abused because it is easy. The crisis centres have been given an executive and judicial power, which they are in no way qualified to handle. They have neither spoken to the father nor have knowledge of the social and health history that there may be with the other parent. It is discrimination, gender discrimination and lack of legal equality of the very worst kind in our society – and it should not happen. Any case with criminal matters should and must of course be handled by the police and in cooperation with the police.
So what are we waiting for... Denmark has come a long way and may even be a leader in many areas in relation to the Council of Europe's Resolution 2079 on gender equality in family life and the role of fathers in the future, but we are far from reaching our goal and children and society are losing every single day to mothers' lawyers without ethics and morals, who know very well they are exploiting the system. We experience gender discrimination against fathers and children as the biggest gender equality problem in society.
In 2023, the Father Association has therefore issued a summons to the Ministry of Social Affairs and the Prime Minister's Office in a case to correct the inequality. The Father Association has argued before the courts that residence and visitation concept should not be used as a starting point in a society where almost half of the children do not live with their father and mother. As a starting point, the legislation must be equal and the state must not base welfare benefits solely on the residential parents.
In addition, Denmark has, whether you want it or not, introduced paternity leave, but the ministries do not comply with the law and the EU directive. When fathers who do not live with the mother he can be left with the idea of a right to leave that turns out to be an illusion. The Father Association has filed a lawsuit to have the decisions made in the Family Law Centre and the family law system declared invalid because they are fundamentally contrary to the Equality Act and the rule of law as well as applicable conventions for children and parents.
So what are we waiting for... Human rights are clear. Every child has the right to know and be cared for by his or her parents, and every citizen has the right to respect for family life, protection against discrimination and a judicial review of civil rights within a reasonable time. This does not happen to children and fathers in Denmark, and it is a matter of government and management responsibility.
The association Far has over a hundred thousand visitors on its contact surfaces, over 28,000 parents of both sexes in self-help groups and holds thousands of personal counselling sessions annually online or in the nationwide counselling centres. In the period 2015 to 2023, the Father Association has received less than 1% of the state support received by Mothers’ support organisations, or approximately 0.3% of the total amount to these organizations, which politically look after the interests of the mother and children, but not fathers and the children. The Father Association is the leading interest organization with knowledge and experience about children and fathers as well as equal parenthood in Denmark.
So what are we waiting for... Get rid of the concepts of «residence and visitation», which is the most significant discrimination we have in all areas of society today. Make sure children have equal time with father and mother as a starting point, because it is best for the vast majority of children and has a preventive effect. It must therefore be the starting point and will create a situation where the children and parents who need help can also get the help.