Parental alienation is the exercise of psychological violence
As the law is interpreted today, without regard to parental alienation (PA), the state can become an extended arm in violence against children. PA must therefore be recognised by legal protection and child protection services (CPS) so that interpretations of the Children Act take into account children exposed to harmful pressure of loyalty.
Lill Stella Høslom, psychotherapist yoga instructor for HumanHarmony.
Eivind Meland, professor emeritus at UiB and supervisor in Bergen municipality
The mechanisms of PA are to speak disparagingly about and to the other parent with the child present. Such influence usually starts before the breakup between the parents. Here the child brings with him an experience and learning by degradation and disrespectful behavior towards the targeted parent, which the child has seen and learned. Another mechanism is to be a "victim" so that the child sympathizes and becomes afraid that something will happen to the favored parent. Custodial sabotage, by tempting the child with everything that is going to happen while it is with the other parent, is part of the pattern. Favor and pamper the child with gifts, isolate the child, sabotage cooperation, and shut off the flow of communication with whom the child also belongs. Uncertainty and distrust are stimulated by statements such as "don't say anything to mom/dad". Control over the child by phone when the child is with the hostile parent, so that the child can never fully be him(her)self there, is part of the picture. Claims about the other parent scaring the child are also common. In general, it consists of creating shame, guilt, insecurity, and fear in the child associated with the hostile parent. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30475019/
Children exposed to parental hostility have a lack of free will in that they distance themselves from their own feelings and need to "please" the perpetrator of violence. They are prone to manipulation, confidence, so-called enmeshment (emotional incest), lying, brainwashing and conflict of loyalties. When we do not take parental hostility into account in parental conflicts, child custody cases and CPS cases, we are helping to continue to commit violence against the child. Parental hostility must therefore be recognized in such a way that we have legislation that takes children’s interests into account, where it will be easier to establish effective cost-saving assistance measures for children and adults exposed to psychological violence. Parental conflicts are often part of the continued violence after the end of the relationship with the perpetrator, these conflicts are usually asymmetrical, it is therefore secondary to find out so-called "parental conflicts", the child should be the primary focus in such cases where adequate assistance measures are implemented immediately for the child regulated by law. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2015-27699-001
Hostile children do not convey the truth as they are governed by conflict of loyalties, sanctions, and/or fear-based obedience. Since the child has inadequate will of his own, this is what governs the communication from the child to the support agencies. A relevant observation is that people who manage to alienate their own children towards a parent also manage to alienate agencies and government bodies towards the parent in question. Knowledge of how fast one enters an enemy image, so-called confirmation bias, is extremely important. If not, one is in danger of entering into a derogatory and degrading attitude whereby one as a professional takes part in hostile abuse. https://www.idunn.no/doi/full/10.18261/issn.0809-9553-2020-01-05
We ourselves see cases of a CPS falling into the confirmation trap, as they, like others, are easily manipulated by lies and half-truths. We also see cases where they only take into account information that can confirm their own preconceived interpretation. They may believe that a hostile distorted image is the truth. Diagnoses such as "lack of attachment" and "emotional inaccessibility" in parents is used in an unreflective and unprofessional way. With certainty about administering "the best interests of the child", the moral vision is impaired and with it the capacity for open-minded judgment. When parental hostility is not part of the CPS's framework of understanding, the support measures can quickly become disservice that acts as an extended arm in the violence against the child. We see a lack of psychological and legislative competence in child welfare. In cases of PA, close cooperation between professional bodies and judicial authorities is required. https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fpro0000031
Children are not developed cognitively-emotionally until well into their 20s. https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/development-and-psychopathology/article/neural-meaning-making-prediction-and-prefrontalsubcortical-development-following-early-adverse-caregiving/10BAE746E69A5C280ED82574026E341D
Leaving it to children to take responsibility for opting out of a parent in childhood and adolescence is therefore an abuse sanctioned by the rule of law and does not safeguard the provision in the Convention on the Rights of the Child "to protect children against violence, abuse and neglect by those who look after them" (Article 19 of the Convention on the Rights of the Child). The child's right to co-determination and self-determination is regulated in sections 31-33 of the Children Act, but as we see it these provisions must be subordinate to the duty to protect children.
The Children's Act and the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child
The best interests of the child shall be a fundamental consideration in ensuring the child's protection and care. Caregivers shall take appropriate legal and administrative measures to this end. States Parties shall ensure that those responsible for the child comply with standards established by competent authorities, in particular with regard to safety, health and qualified care.
Child welfare and legal protection must acknowledge that PA is an active procedure and abuse. PA may also be an expression of reduced empathy and ability to self-awareness in parents, leading them to unconsciously expose children to abuse. They may lack the ability to understand the serious consequences this has for the child's healthy development and the child's relationship with the other parent. Guidance on what parental hostility is, and the consequences the behavior has on the child, is therefore mandatory. It can allow the parent to make necessary changes to avoid harming their child. On the other hand, where the parent refuses to change, laws and judicial authorities must prevent harm to the child. We also refer to Article 3.2 of the Convention on the Rights of the Child on "ensuring that the child receives the protection and care necessary for the child's well-being". https://www.regjeringen.no/globalassets/upload/kilde/bfd/bro/2004/0004/ddd/pdfv/178931-fns_barnekonvensjon.pdf
When government and judicial bodies refer to children's right of co-determination, we are faced with an apparent contradiction. In our opinion, the right of co-determination requires that the child is first ensured protection and care.
https://lovdata.no/dokument/NL/lov/1981-04-08-7/KAPITTEL_6#KAPITTEL_6
Kronikken ble først publisert av Fontene: https://fontene.no/debatt/foreldrefiendtliggjoring-er-psykisk-vold-6.47.1031061.5397591603